5 Life Lessons: #2

Follow your heart and put a high value on it.

There is some similarity between this lesson and my first one to follow your instincts. Your gut tells you when something is right or wrong. When it comes to love, this is especially important.

Yes, I know when the heart speaks it’s hard to listen to anything else. The point of this lesson is about valuing yourself and what you bring to the relationship table.

While these lessons were originally intended for my son, he would cringe if he thought I wrote a post about him, so I’ll look elsewhere for material…

I worked with a man once who was battered. He came back really late from lunch one day, and I was mad because I had to cover his work while he was gone. He was clearly rattled, and told me that the police came to his house because his wife came after him with a knife. He didn’t make enough money to make things easy for his wife and four kids. She got mad and took it out on him regularly. Sad.

I was thrown for a loop, because I didn’t expect that he was being physically abused. I knew the mental stuff was going on, because I often heard her screaming at him on the phone. If he didn’t answer his phone, she’d start calling me. When I’d answer, she would start yelling at me. I would hang up, because, really?

We weren’t the best of buds, but that day after lunch, I asked him why he stayed. He talked about her being mad about not being able to afford her bowling league. She needed to get away, you know? I asked him what messages he was sending to his kids by continuing to allow this drama and violence. He didn’t have an answer for me.

Now I know I have no idea all of the things going on, but I do know he deserved more. And that’s what this lesson is about. I assume he loved his wife, but he didn’t put a high value on himself.

You deserve someone who treats you with respect, who listens to you, who cares about your feelings. Put all you have into a relationship when it’s right. Be brave and walk away when it’s not. Like Loreal says, you are worth it.